Last week we looked at how frequently bullets are not composed in a parallel fashion and how easily we can fix that oversight. To review:
I hope to cover three items at Friday’s meeting:
• Setting a theme for our tribute event.
• Selecting a speaker from the “A list” we developed.
• Determination of an optimal date and back-up date.
So if we merely change “Determination” to “Determining,” we are staying on track, writing with more finesse, and giving our reader a smoother ride. Now let’s wrap up this topic by looking at the failure to use parallel construction within a single sentence.
From flawed to fixed
At the meeting please summarize recent annual tribute events, review the list of potential speakers we’ve generated and possible dates. (The parallelism breaks down because there is no verb for “possible dates.”) But, again, the repair job is easy.
Fix A: If the verb “review” is doing double-duty, we just need to delete the comma after “events” and insert “and.” At the meeting please summarize recent annual tribute events and review the list of potential speakers we’ve generated and possible dates.
Fix B: If “review” refers only to potential speakers, we need a verb to go with “possible dates.” At the meeting please summarize recent annual tribute events, review the list of potential speakers we’ve generated, and propose possible dates.
If we have just two elements, should they be parallel?
The answer is yes. We want to discuss presentation of a panel instead of an individual speaker and inviting Nancy Foster to act as moderator. Tsk, tsk. “Presentation” and “inviting” don’t agree. (Notice that despite the flaw this sentence is still clear, so the slip-up is not serious. In a more complicated sentence, however, lack of parallelism can mar more than elegance; it can hamper comprehension.)
Fix A: We want to discuss presentation of a panel instead of an individual speaker and an invitation to Nancy Foster to act as moderator.
Fix B: We want to discuss presenting a panel instead of an individual speaker and inviting Nancy Foster to act as moderator.
Ensuring parallel construction when we edit our work pays off in enhanced clarity and style.
In addition to presenting workshops on writing in the workplace, Norm Friedman is a writer, editor, and writing coach. His 100+ Instant Writing Tips is a brief “non-textbook” to help individuals overcome common writing errors and write with more finesse and impact. Learn more at http://www.normfriedman.com/index.shtml.